i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
