I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We have started to decorate penises.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
