Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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