It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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