Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
