shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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