I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
