no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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