Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i will never coherently bang her
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
