So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
