It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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