He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I want to be your penis for a week.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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