remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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