can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
