Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
