so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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