i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
