we're blogging at a bar
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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