you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
