I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
