Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
