hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
a search helicopter?!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
