flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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