so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize