I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
