So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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