Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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