Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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