So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize