we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
