whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You made out with two different species that night
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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