i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
