i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
