what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
