Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
