I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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