I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
