He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
