I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
