Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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