You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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