dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
