Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
