Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Sorry about my life...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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