No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Can I color on your dick again?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
