I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
