so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
