I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
