I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
