ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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