Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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