were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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