There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
