I hate your face
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
