peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
this hospital has no fireball
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize