i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
