uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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